


The Hobbit: The Unexpected Burglar

by ThorinBilbo



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Belladonna Took is a liar, But he’s a handsome jerk so it’s okay, But she loves her daughter, F/M, Mystery, Romance, Thorin Oakenshield is a jerk, dark secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:24:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThorinBilbo/pseuds/ThorinBilbo
Summary: Thorin could not believe Gandalf would do this to him. This tiny, pudgy, thing could never be a burglar. She was far too gentle and innocent. She didn't know loss, nor pain, she didn't even know misery. Her parents had sheltered her all her life to keep whatever dark family secret they carried at bay, but now it would appear Gandalf wanted to reveal that secret. Billa Baggins is this company's only chance at regaining Erebor and, perhaps, Thorin's chance at a new life. But what secret were the Baggins hiding? Why couldn't Billa leave her home until now? Does Gandalf know more than he's telling?





	1. Chapter 1

She had always been quite odd, that Billa Baggins. All hobbits knew who she was. She was the daughter of the foul Belladonna Took and the respectable Bungo Baggins. Given the odd blood now running through her veins, it was no surprise to anybody in the Shire as to why Billa was the only hobbit who seemed to have feet as tiny as human's, but she still bore brown fur on each. Nor was it a head turner that Billa's ears mirrored that of elves with how more pointer rather than bigger. It was also no surprise that she had the same drive all foul Tooks had to explore the lands outside the Shire and see the world. But...what made it all the more different was even Belladonna Took tried to discourage her daughter's want. Her of all people would want to show her daughter all the places she visited, but when Billa had made a run for it one day to 'see the elves from Mama's stories', Belladonna became shrill in her voice as she grabbed her child in a near death grip, hissing she was never to leave the Shire, no matter what.

Most hobbits only suspected it was because she maybe wanted to turn her daughter into a normal hobbit, but why would she seem so fearful of her daughter leaving? It simply made no sense. But the subject was dropped and the Baggins family were, in a more blunt sense, ignored. Billa grew up, still with the small feet and pointy ears, still odd, but always sheltered. Despite all of this, she was one of the sweetest hobbits to live in the Shire. In the mornings when she skipped down the paths to visit the shops, she would greet anyone outside their homes with a smile and a wave. She soon memorized names and would wish them good mornings. The unearned hatred for her was slowly diminished and they put the thought out of their minds about how weird she really was for the fact that the 'Took oddities' seemed to have been stamped out of her.

Then Bungo and Belladonna died. 

Never had they seen bright and happy Billa Baggins so sad and dour. A girl so happy was reduced to silent tears as the names were carved into the headstones. It had taken her months to recover from the loss, returning back into her happy-go-lucky self who sang songs while she tended to her garden, waved to passersby when she passed, and yet...she never left the Shire as she had once wanted. Most people forgot the panic in Belladonna's eyes when Billa would try to leave, so they never thought much on the fact that Billa had followed her wishes after Belladonna left the living.

Some questions were thrown around, of course. What was the persistence for on keeping her in the Shire when she had left it so many times in her youth? None of it made any sense. Nevertheless, things were all the same in Hobbiton. Everyone dined with friends, tended to their prized possessions, had as many meals as they could, and everything was normal.

Until today.

Billa always liked reading on her bench. It gave her a chance to sit back and relax, the daisies on her oddly small feet tickling her ankles with the breeze while a small teacup sat to her right, being sipped at every couple of minutes. The sun was high above, sort of making her dark brown hair glow in a gold sort of way. Yes, it was a picture of pure calm. That is, until something blocked the sun entirely. It was almost as if an unscheduled eclipse was occurring, but she was sure that wasn't the case. Looking up with her eyebrows crinkled together, she jumped slightly to see a large man, draped in grey, standing just before her garden gate, holding a large wooden staff which was probably the same length as his greyed beard.

"Oh, I apologize for the jumping, I didn't see you there," she chirped, her voice somewhat like a music box. "Good morning, sir, are you lost?"

"Not lost, but I am found," he replied. "Most hobbits jumped the same way you did looking upon my person. Is there, perhaps, something weird about my cloak, do you think?"

"No, I think you're dressed quite wonderfully. Though what would I know, I'm no fashion expert. I tend to just dress comfortably." She motioned to her own clothes, which were a tad displeasing to the eye with the many clashing colors of a vibrant yellow and a dark, almost tree-like brown. It did not match at all, but she didn't mind that. She didn't want to sit on her bench constantly situating herself because her skirt was bunching up and making her hot or her blouse was itchy.

"I see, well...thank you for the compliment, even if it comes from a mind of confusion. I do ponder on that fact that you are wondering why I am here, standing before you and interrupting your reading?" he asked, still smiling mischievously down at her. She closed her book after marking her page before folding her hands neatly over her lap. 

"Mm, maybe," she shrugged, "after all, most men in grey don't appear here, but who am I to question your actions? That would be like you asking why I tend to my garden."

"Why do you tend to your garden, Miss Baggins?"

"Well, I suppose-" Billa cut herself off. "How do you know my name?"

"I am surprised you are surprised," the stranger chortled. "I would have figured Belladonna Took's daughter would recognize me in an instant with your, apparently not anymore, impeccable memory."

"Forgive me, I do...I suppose things grew quite unclear after my mother and father left this world," Billa apologized, before smiling again. "Perhaps if you give me hints I can guess?" Billa could see hobbits walking around in their homes and giving her very odd looks for conversing with this man, but she paid them no mind. Billa Baggins could never turn her nose up to guests, no matter how odd they seem to hobbits. After all, this stranger was quite fun in such a weird sense that it wasn't weird at all. 

"Hm...a hint? Alright, then...you know of my fireworks, my abilities, and of my constant jabs at your father who took it all in good nature."

Billa thought for a moment before her face completely lit up and she got to her feet, the book falling from her lap and into the daisies below. "Gandalf the Grey, yes? Oh, how wonderful it is to see you again! I do commend you on your work with the fireworks, I did enjoy them! As did my mother! Oh...won't you come inside for a spot of tea?"

"Haha! I am glad you have guessed correctly, Miss Billa, I was beginning to think you have forgotten me completely," Gandalf grasped one of her hands and shook it gingerly. "And I also appreciate the invitation, but I cannot use my time to stay at the moment, for you see...I am here with a different sort of purpose."

"What would that be?" Billa asked bemusedly.

"Well....I was here to ask you to join me and others...on an adventure." 

Billa froze, her mouth slightly hanging open at a sort of odd angle as she let that sentence sink in. An adventure? But she couldn't. She shouldn't! Her mother had always told her her place was in Bag-End. She had no need of leaving, and she shouldn't leave. All of her mother's tales ending with the same warning that Billa should never see the monsters Belladonna faced. She should never have to deal with the pain Belladonna had endured. Whenever Billa pressed for more details as to why Belladonna felt that way, she'd always change the subject. 

But Billa had listened, and she never stepped toe out of the Shire because her mother begged her not to. Her father agreed, though he wasn't as persistent as her mother was. 

"I...cannot," she said finally. "I'm terribly sorry, Mister Gandalf, but my mother always insisted that I shouldn't leave the Shire. I promised her and I never break promises, no I do not. I keep them."

Gandalf didn't seem surprised by her answer. 

"Your mother is right, you should never leave the Shire...alone, that is. You will not be alone, you will have me and the company also attending," he said. "Did...did Miss Belladonna ever give the reason as to why you should never leave, if you don't mind me asking? I'm never one normally to pry, but I am one to seize the answers to my curiosity."

"Well...no, it was all very vague, but...she insisted, Gandalf. I am not to leave-"

"Don't think of it as leaving, my dear Billa, think of it as...temporary absence. You can return after and it would be like you never left, trust me," Gandalf's eyes slowly trailed up towards the sun, before he nodded curtly. "Yes, I am needed elsewhere. This will be very good for you Billa, and possibly most amusing for me. I'll put you down as a yes." 

"But...but I-" 

"Your book is crushing your daisies, Miss Billa."

Billa looked down and huffed, reaching down and lifting the book before looking up to press on the fact she just couldn't leave, but Gandalf was no longer there. Eyes widened, Billa looked up and down the path, but he simply just disappeared. Licking her lips, Billa clamped the book to her chest before grabbing her teacup and rushing toward her home, her mind racing with so many questions. For example, why was Gandalf suddenly persistent on her and adventures? What was this adventure exactly? Why was he questioning her mother's wishes of keeping Billa, well, grounded? 

It was all very mind befuddling. 

Trying to put it out of her mind, Billa spent the day cleaning, humming to herself rather uneasily as she watched the front door as if she expected Gandalf to burst in with other wizards or elves of some sort. He did speak of 'others' attending this adventure. She just wondered who he was gathering. It couldn't be hobbits, seeing as they all looked down on adventures and anything to do with them. She always tried to ignore the stares they had given her when she was younger. Despite her memories being ruined from her parents' deaths, she did remember the equal hatred everyone shared for her because she had an interest in adventuring just as her mother had.

The sun that had been blocked by a wizard once was now hitting the ground, a moon replacing it and putting everything in a white, sort of heavenly glow. Billa still hadn't put Gandalf out of her mind, so she wasn't surprised when she suddenly heard three loud knocks on her round door. 

Examining herself in the mirror, she was still wearing the hideous getup from earlier, but she looked less frazzled than she had, so she didn't mind opening the door to see who stood on the other side, jumping back a few feet to see a towering, full grown dwarf on her doorstep. 

"Oh! I'm sorry, I just didn't expect-"

"Dwalin," he grunted, leaning forward to seize her right hand and pulling it straight up to his lips, "at your service." He pressed his lips to it gently before releasing it, watching in a bit of a judgmental light as it fell uselessly back to Billa's side. Shaking her head out of it, she opened her arms outward. 

"Sorry, sorry, I...I am Billa Baggins. Please...come in."

The dwarf called Dwalin nodded and stepped inside, ducking slightly so he wouldn't hit his head on the doorway. 

Yes, this company would be very odd indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm a bit of a pro at the guessing games," Billa finally interrupted the long ringing silence. "Gandalf sent you, did he?"

"Not much of a guessin' game since he saw you earlier today," Dwalin called back, still walking around her home as if he were looking for something. "Ain't you's a hobbit? Shouldn't you have a lot of food?" Billa frowned, but she decided it would be in her best interest to not argue with a fully grown dwarf over food, so she guided him toward her dining table and sat him down before she wandered into her pantry to see what she could salvage that would cater to his appetite.

"Are there any others after you?" Billa called curiously as she started shoveling meat into her arms and wobbled into her kitchen to prepare it, feeling both disgruntled and a tad excited. That sense of adventure she had tried to diminish long ago per her mother's request was becoming aflame again, her heart slightly beating faster at such a thrill. She couldn't help but blame Gandalf for this, roping a company into her home when she distinctly refused his request. Shaking her head out of it, she pulled open a cabinet and grabbed the necessary equipment. 

"Yes, a lot more, actually, so if I were you I'd prepare something big and fast since we're all pretty much starving," Dwalin grunted from the dining table. "You'll have to understand it's a long journey." He tapped his fingers rapidly across the tabletop, staring bored at the wooden material as he waited for a response, though one never came. He looked up to see if he could spot the small hobbit from there, but he jumped as he saw her standing on the other side of the table, her face rather pink with both of her tiny fists sitting snuggly on her hips. 

"Do I look like some sort of barmaid you could bark orders at? I'm sorry, but that's not how things are going to work around here. Stand, c'mon, then!" She ushered him out of his seat before she proceeded to grasp his wrist and drag him into the kitchen. "Alright, here's what you're going to do: you're going to cut up these sausages before I take them to cook. Once that's done you'll grab at the chicken and ham; I hope you know how to cook ham since I'll be taking my time with both the sausages and the chicken?"

"Er...yeah, yeah, I know how," Dwalin nodded, making Billa smile in satisfaction.

"Fantastic, Master Dwalin, then let's get cooking."

With that, the two helped to fill the kitchen and her hobbit home with the stench of food, both of their stomachs beginning to growl in wanton just as her front door released another knock for her to answer. By then, she had finished with the chicken and sausages, the ham still cooking inside her burning oven. 

"Watch over that, will you?" she sighed, rubbing her hands on her now filthy skirt as she went to open the door, not surprised to see yet another dwarf standing upon her doorstep, this one far shorter than the last with a long snowy white mane of hair and beard. He must be older, then, by the color, but she could see liveliness in his kind eyes as he addressed her. 

"Balin," he greeted, also seizing her hand and pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles, just before he bowed his head. "at your service."

"Billa Baggins, at yours, Balin, sir," she smiled, before letting him in. "Forgive me if I come off as too forward, but considering I've already opened my home to one of you, it seems fitting I learn from my nervousness. He is in the kitchen currently watching over the ham. If you'd follow me." He nodded his head and waddled after her as she led the way to the kitchen, raising a pertinent brow to see Dwalin keeling over to stare through the thick glass that revealed to him the ham's state.

"Ah! Brother!" Balin greeted, suddenly appearing more excited. "Good evening." 

Dwalin flinched, obviously not expecting the sudden company as he looked up just before his grumpy face melted into an endearing smile, the tips of his beard protruding upwards. Billa backed away, so as to not intrude on their reunion that was currently going on right before her eyes. It was sweet, although uncomfortable for any outsider.

"By my beard, brother," Dwalin said, "you have grown shorter and wider since we last met."

"Wider, not shorter," Balin playfully corrected as he embraced the other, "sharp enough for the both of us."

With that, the two were laughing as if it were some long running joke Billa wasn't aware of. It was a lovely moment for two brothers until they suddenly butted heads harshly, causing Billa to let out a sharp gasp that made the both of them once more aware it was not just the two of them left in the room. 

Balin nodded to her kindly, "If you don't mind, lass, I wouldn't turn my head to a cup of tea. It hasn't been an easy journey here."

"But of course," Billa smiled, patting Dwalin on the shoulder as she said, "Give the ham another two minutes before you pull it out. Use the oven mitts, if you please. It will be very hot."

"Lass, I've worked with harsh metals a whole century. I can handle a hot pan of ham," Dwalin scoffed, glancing toward Balin as if inviting him in on the joke against Billa's wariness on dwarven capabilities. However, just as she disappeared to go get the teapot, she was sure she heard a loud hiss and foreign curse when Dwalin had opened her oven door. Stifling a laugh, she joined their company again to see Dwalin sucking on the burned area of his hand while Balin carried the ham to the dining table, using the oven mitts she had instructed Dwalin to use. 

"Yes, well, I'd still call you first if I ever need a blacksmith," Billa joked, grabbing at the chicken and sausages next to place them on the table. As she did so, another knock fell upon her door, alarming her momentarily before she relaxed and pointed to Balin. "Please, Mister Balin, I have platters of vegetables, fruits, and drinks in my pantry. Please be courteous to me, but gather enough for how ever much company I'll be hosting."

The small dwarf nodded, and she disappeared into her walkway where she opened the door, this time revealing two dwarves, the both of them far younger than Dwalin and Balin. Both were still taller than her, but she could tell their age by their faces, or more specifically their child-like eyes. The elder one was blonde, his hair flowing behind him while his beard and mustache intertwined in complicated braids that complimented his mouth. He bore armor like a knight, adorned in many weapons she couldn't identify in the dark. The other had flowing brown hair, not baring massive beards like his comrades, considering it was nothing but brown stubble. He, too, wore armor, though he didn't seem to be carrying as much weapons as the other.

"Fili," the blond spoke first.

"And Kili," the brunette added.

The two of them grabbed a hand closest to them, bending forward to press kisses across her knuckles. The one deemed Kili lingered for a moment, before they both looked up once more, "At your service."

"Yes, yes, the introductions you all seem to have," Billa sighed, though she smiled.

"You are Miss Boggins, then?" Kili asked, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he stared at her with a red face. Billa snorted. 

"Baggins, but yes. Billa Baggins. Come in, Kili and Fili." The two of them instantly obliged, bounding in with a different sort of energy following them. Once she closed the door and turned around, Billa suddenly found herself carrying a massive weight she didn't expect. The one called Fili was dumping all of the weapons he had in her arms, much like a guest would his coat.

"Careful with these," he grunted carelessly, "we've just had them sharpened. Would cut into that lovely skin of yours in the blink of an eye."

Billa scoffed, her eyes narrowing. 

"Oh, just a second, Mister Fili!" she called, her voice strained from the weight she had been given. "I am a gracious host, but my expertise in putting things away are hats and coats...not rusty old swords." She shoved the weapons back into his arms. "But...I can show you where you could put those, and then you can aid me, Dwalin, and Balin with the food." Smiling warmly, she helped him into her sitting room, beckoning towards her soft looking sofa that sat aside her beloved armchair. He chuckled as he looked back up at her once every weapon was safely upon the cushions. 

"A bit of a kick in you. Gandalf was right in his choices," he spoke, getting up to join the others in the pantry, where they could be seen going through the vegetables and ale she had stored. Unfortunately, despite her request, they seemed to be emptying it completely. She was willing to bet the appetites of dwarves far surpassed the appetite of hobbits, but they had yet to see her during second breakfast, so that silly idea was off the table.

"Well, unfortunately for the lot of you, I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart. Come tomorrow, whatever adventure he was planning will not be including me. I don't break promises, and a promise I had clung to required me to stay within the borders of Hobbiton and Bag End itself."

"Funny...he said you'd say that," Fili patted her on the shoulder before rushing to Kili's side since the brunette was struggling to carry an entire barrel of ale to the dining room by himself. Considering their similar names and the way they simply interacted with each other, Billa understood they, too, were brothers. But that didn't matter to her right now. What mattered was that Gandalf was still intending she go on this adventure when she specifically said she wouldn't. Couldn't. She had promised her mother. Besides, wasn't catering to these dwarves enough? He should be glad she even did that! Again, however, a voice at the back of her mind was calling her foolish. Deep down, she knew she wanted this. She wanted the thrill. 

Stewing in her own thoughts, she nearly missed yet another knock at her door. Cheeks red and mouth in a pout, she clenched her fists at her side and went to answer it, squealing and jumping back just as a pile of dwarves fell at her feet. All of them groaned, rubbing their heads and cursing each other for being foolish, but Billa forced herself to look away since something behind them caught her attention. A long robe of grey filled the doorway, but the robe bent down long enough for her to recognize Gandalf's old face. She snorted, shaking her head as she greeted him, "Billa Baggins...at your service."

"I see you've been catching on, Miss Baggins," he playfully retorted as he carefully stepped in. "My dwarves...if you could please peel yourselves from the ground in order to greet your hostess...Billa Baggins." 

They all looked up, looking grim until they saw Billa's pale face and quickly got to their feet, their cheeks and ears turning red just as Kili's had, rushing to grab at her hands and kiss her knuckles.

"Dori, at your service, ma'am. My apologies..."

"Nori, at your service always, love..."

"O-Ori, at your service, ma'am!"

"Bifur."

"Bofur, at your service!"

"Bombur, at your service." 

"Gloin, at your service, Miss Baggins."

"Eh? What's her name? Oin, at your service, Miss Borgins!"

One by one, they passed her, all looking thoroughly embarrassed until they laid eyes on the dining table, which was overloaded with good food for them to savagely tear into. Gandalf and Billa didn't join them just yet. The wizard was well aware the hobbit wanted to speak with him, and he knew she would do anything to make it happen. She had much of her father's stubbornness welded into her, but to Gandalf, that wasn't such a bad thing. After all, it was clear she had enough Took blood in her. 

"Gandalf, you cannot honestly be serious," Billa hissed, crossing her arms. "Expecting me to go back on my word, expecting me to throw caution to the wind and just waltz right into the unknown with those dwarves...it is incredibly self centered of you." 

"Self centered of me? Billa Baggins, is it not self centered of you, yourself to avoid your destiny?" 

"This is not my destiny, Gandalf! Leaving Bag End, abandoning my home and breaking my promise to my mother is NOT my destiny!" Billa protested, laughing sarcastically. Her hair seemed to be frizzing up at her anger, almost as if it were by ability. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Gandalf, really I am...but if my mother didn't want me on the outside of this place...it was for a reason." 

"And don't you want to discover that reason?"

That stopped Billa's retort. Gandalf grinned.

"Ah, yes...the reason. I know it has probably stumped you since your mother's passing. Billa, this journey will help you in understanding exactly what she was hiding from you and why. You will discover a side that even you didn't even know you had," Gandalf spoke as if he had been waiting so long to tell her this. "Bag End is not your life, Billa. It is a part of who you are, but your other half is elsewhere. Belladonna Took would want me to show you, and I am obliging her personal request. Do not disagree with me just yet... At least sit on it until after dinner."

With that, Gandalf left her in the walkway to join the rambunctious dwarves in the dining room. Billa bit her lip and shook her head angrily. No, he was just saying things to make her paranoid, to make her want to go. She couldn't do this! Billa Baggins, you know you cannot do this to your own mother. You just can't.

But the reason...

The reason far surpassed her paranoia.


End file.
